Quit Hedging and Have Confidence in Your Writing! - CTRL+F is Your Editing Friend Part 3

Using CTRL+F during your editing phase can be super helpful in strengthening your writing. Certain words and phrases can alert us to possible problems, and finding them can be as easy as typing a word or two into the find function on your word processor!

To be clear, not every instance of each of these words or phrases needs to be changed; they are just good places to examine and make informed decisions about leaving them in or not. Some examples of leaving them be could include the rhythm of the writing, the pacing of the scene, or if it’s found in dialogue.

In this installment of the CTRL+F series, we’re going to talk about confidence in your writing and how to stop hedging. Let things be, and be confident in what they are. This list might be the one with the most nuance when compared to both Show Don’t Tell and Avoiding the Vague, Weak and Simply Unnecessary; I feel like we started at the “almost always” and worked ourselves down to the voicy-est list. It may also be important to note that this list is great for non-fiction pieces and maybe even more helpful in that writing scenario, though not to be ignored in fiction!

Specificity of Quantity (Some, a lot, about (so many))

There are a few things at play here and I want to touch on the difference between fiction and nonfiction for this example. In fiction, being a little more vague with amounts is more acceptable than in nonfiction. While using specific numbers is more important and appropriate in nonfiction. So our fixes may look different depending on our genre. For example, if you are writing a paper on migration patterns of birds giving an estimated (or exact!) number of a flock’s size makes sense, but if you’re writing fiction (or maybe creative/narrative nonfiction) it might make more sense to say a large flock flew by or the flock blotted out the sky. 

The problem with some, a lot, and about so many is that the reader has no perception of what that means, nothing to compare it to, different life experiences that inform their knowledge. These words are also boring and lack emotionality alongside being non-specific. Instead think more about the effect of the amount of whatevers. Is “a lot” a problem? A benefit? Is “some” enough for one person? A hundred? Is “about a dozen” actually just a dozen? Or is it a few more or a few less? It is possible, especially in your writing’s voice, that saying “about a dozen” makes sense if the actual number is unknown. Just keep in mind that a specific picture is a clear picture.

Example 1

Jenny grabbed some mints from the front desk.

VS

Jenny took a heaping handful of mints from the front desk.

OR

Jenny took a heaping handful of mints from the front desk, a few falling and scattering from between her fingers.

OR

Jenny, worried about her breath, shovelled mints into her purse.

I have a few suggested changes here. The simple and obvious is to give the amount a more visual cue: a heaping handful versus the boring “some” of the original sentence.

Beyond that, we can add a little action or a little emotion. If we take our first fix and add in the falling mints it adds more movement and maybe even a little audio to the scene. If this is a moment that we want to drag out for tension we may follow it up with the tinkling of mints hitting the desk or the squeaking of plastic in Jenny’s hand.

On the other hand, we can consider why Jenny feels the need to take such a large amount of mints from the front desk. Maybe she’s on her way to an interview or date and she’s obsessively worried about her breath. Or maybe she missed breakfast and hopes the sugar from the mints will keep her going from now until lunch.

Of course, not every sentence needs to carry so much meaning, a simple heaping handful may be all you need in the context of the paragraph and overall story.

Example 2

I have a lot of yarn at home.

VS

I have a whole closet of yarn at home.

OR

My trunk is bursting with yarn.

Before we go any further, an important statement about voice (and the same goes for dialogue.) Especially in first person or otherwise voicy POVs we must consider said voice. If Danny would think to himself “I have a lot of yarn at home,” and he certainly wouldn’t think, “I have a whole closet of yarn at home,” then we should probably stick with the original. However, if it’s within Danny’s thought process to picture that bursting trunk, it’s much more interesting and visual for the reader than “a lot.”

These fixes are to provide a more sensory experience, particularly a more specific sensory experience. If you aren’t a knitter or crocheter, you might think “a lot of yarn” is like 5 skeins. If you have a yarn stash of your own, you might be thinking in the dozens and beyond. Also, what does Danny consider a lot? Is he a modest spender and a lot is 5 skeins even though he’s a big crafter? Or is he a hyper-consumer with a room filled to the brim with supplies? This helps not only the reader see the stash better, but understand the characters perception better. 

It is or it isn’t (Sort of, kind of)

Most of the time when we say “sort of” or “kind of” the thing actually just is, or it isn’t. Of course there are times when something is only kinda something but that nuance is generally clear; in those cases we will go on to explain why it is only kind of a thing. You can leave these instances if you wish.

Otherwise, be confident in calling a spade a spade! 

Example 1

It was kind of raining outside.

VS

It was drizzling.

OR

A mist fell from the sky leaving drops on the window pane.

In this example, “kind of” is probably alluding to a light rain: “It’s only kind of raining.” So just call it a light rain, or even better a drizzle or a mist or it’s sprinkling or spitting. This relates heavily to those pesky adverbs we have talked about before. When there is a stronger single word, use it! 

Example 2

The show is sort of a play.

VS

It’s a play, but parts of it are improvised.

Tell us what makes it different from a play! If it’s only sort of a play that must mean it’s sort of something else too. Don’t leave the readers hanging and tell them what makes this play so interesting.

Again, I will throw in the caveat of voice and dialogue. As speakers we aren’t always great at giving all the details and we love to hedge our bets for fear of misunderstanding, let that happen when it needs to. Or maybe, keeping that a secret for now is important. Otherwise, don’t hold back that information! By providing the unique value, you will keep people more engaged.

Confident Identity (Just)

Often “just” is used to downplay something's significance: “It’s just a silver medal.” But more often than not, its significance isn’t in question. This is something we correct each other of all the time when we’re trying to dissolve negative self-talk/ low self confidence talk. In our fiction writing, it is more important to avoid it in exposition and description, while “just” should generally be avoided in nonfiction where it affects your credibility and clarity. 

Something interesting to note about the word just is that, I find at least, it requires hearing the tone of emphasis to truly know what it means. Pay attention to the way you use this word while speaking and I think you’ll get what I mean. Of course, adding that tone is more difficult in writing.

Example 1

Looking down at Banesbury, I realized it was just a village.

VS

Looking down at Banesbury, I noticed how small it truly was.

OR

I had built up the idea of Banesbury in my mind. At the bottom of the hill sat a small town square with a dozen or so houses circling it, all surrounded by farm land.

I’d argue, in context, our original sentence may be perfectly fine. If it’s clear that it’s “just a village” as opposed to a city then the message is landing. If that is unclear in context, then being more forthcoming about what “just a village” means, will help your reader see the vision. And taking it a step further, being super specific, in the right style of book and writing, can provide an even clearer picture.

Example 2

He just needed to figure out how to get there.

VS

He needed to figure out how to get there.

To be clear, these sentences mean something different. Knowing which you actually want to say is important. In the original sentence “just” downplays the difficulty or complexity of the “figuring out.” The fix states the goal. This is another one that I think we see happen in everyday conversation where someone says something like, “Just buy a house,” and the other person responds, “yeah I’ll get right on that,” while scraping by on bills. 

If the narrator is trying to imply it would be easy if he just tried then great, but if the narrator isn’t quite so invested or involved or opinionated, it might fit better to leave it as a plain statement of goal.

More Modifiers (Really very rather quite)

We’ve discussed adverbs and adjective-noun pairs before, these words fall into that same category.  Really, very, rather, and quite are all modifiers, but they all share the quality of changing intensity. The problem is, when we look at the words they are modifying, there is usually a single word synonym, a word that encompasses that intensity all its own. Or there is a sensory experience that would better modify the intensity. We’ll look at both as examples.

Example 1

It is very sunny outside.

VS

The sun was blinding.

OR

It took a minute to adjust to the brightness of the sun.

We could fuss over whether or not it can even be “very sunny” or if it’s either sunny or not since the sun is simply the sun, but I don’t think that’s helpful in this instance! Usually, there is something that is making the sun seem more vibrant than usual and focusing on that might be key to bringing this story to life. Is it brighter because the characters were just inside, are the surroundings more reflective (like a fresh snow), is it the time of day that’s affecting the perception of the sun's rays? Or maybe very sunny has more to do with the heat felt on the character’s skin and it has nothing to do with the brightness!

I went a different way with the fixes due to my lack of context; I focused on the sensory perception instead. So many times I have been confronted by an over-sensitivity to the sunshine, whether from the reflection off snow, the difference from my cave-like house, or my own light sensitivity from migraine, I feel the brightness more that I see it. Bring that into your story! Talk about the eye adjustment period, the pain behind your eyes when you first step outside, the immediate heat on your skin, that tingling you get knowing you should have put on sunscreen… Turn that very into something (say it with me) more specific.

Example 2

It was really cold in the basement.

VS

It was freezing in the basement.

OR

Goosebumps tingled across my arms as my foot touched the cement floor of the basement.

The fix I want to draw the most attention to here is “really cold” versus “freezing.” Really cold is vague and relies on a reader’s perception while freezing means water could freeze in there (whether hyperbole or not). Really cold might mean, “I should have grabbed a sweater, but I’ll live” while freezing ensures discomfort. 

If freezing is too hyperbolic for this piece, go back to the idea of describing the sensory experience. Consider seeing breath, goosebumps, frost on windows, shivering, teeth chattering, snot freezing or drying. Or consider the actions one might take in a colder environment: hugging themself, putting a hood up, pulling their sleeves over their hands, blowing on their fingers, pulling their cardigan closed… 

In reality, this comes full circle to “Show, Don’t Tell” so if this is your first CTRL+F post from me you’ve read, that might be another place you want to check out!

Conclusion

Final thoughts on hedging and confidence. Voice really matters. (That’s right, I used a word I told you to look for!) If the narrator isn’t confident, maybe hedging is exactly what you need to convey that. My advice? Before you start this search, define your narrator’s voice. Is this a first person POV of someone that fears saying anything too confidently just in case they’re wrong? Is this a third person POV with a judgemental narrator that is screaming for the protagonist to just do the thing (or perhaps it’s the protagonist, hidden, looking back on themselves and thinking just how dumb they were)? Or is this story told from a matter-of-fact omniscient POV that needs to state things as they are and leave the hedging and lack of confidence to the characters and their dialogue or maybe inner thoughts. Once you know if and when a lack of confidence is what you’re going for, you can charge ahead and decide which one’s stay and which one’s go.

I’ve realized over the course of this series that so many of these changes lean on one of two things, more concise language (why use many word when few word do trick?) and leaning into the sensory experience. Of course, not every sentence needs to be filled to the brim with sensation nor does every sentence need to be perfectly concise. It’s just good practice to make conscious decisions about word choice and sentence structure! Even more so, purposefully making these “mistakes” as part of a particular character’s voice can bring so much life to a story! That advice I had earlier about defining your narrator’s voice? If you’re writing in multi-POV this becomes even more important! 

Anyway, that was some rambling, important rambling, but rambling nonetheless. As always…

With each search consider if the change is necessary. You want to think about voice, pacing, tension, impact, and rhythm. In none of these examples is it an absolute rule that you must remove the offending word or phrase; they are simply words and phrases to consider.

Let me know if using CTRL+F has helped you tighten your manuscript and if this list helped identify any issues of confidence or hedging in your manuscript!

These are not the only instances where CTRL+F can be your editing friend! In fact, this is the final part (I think), but if this is your first time here I highly recommend (obviously) that you check out part 1 on showing versus telling and part 2 on the vague, weak, and simply unnecessary.

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Jerrica is a writer and editor who inspires up-and-coming writers to create compelling fiction and creative nonfiction works while providing them with the confidence to do it themselves or ask for a helping hand when they need it. She enjoys speculative fiction, horror and gut-wrenching emotion with a side of food & drink and the cozier things in life.